Sunday, April 19, 2009

Well the weekend is not yet done, but it feels over, Sunday early evening, rainy outside and i have had my monthly massage, I am one happy girl.
I had a great weekend with my hubby and friends, Friday night we went to a softball game for our friend Lonnie then here with he and his date Stacy to get ready to head out to trainwreck. Brenden and friend Brandon stayed here with Devin, Once we got him to go to bed.
We had so much fun going out, afterwards we ended up at Dennys (okay seriously that place is just nasty to me, but the food was good and it was on the clean side to my complete surprise) We were home by 2:30, even though not once did I feel it was that late. How wonderful to get out with Brad and have a little fun. (fast thought) Lonnie's new friend Stacy that was out with us, She is so sweet and so dang cute, I am hopeful that their relationship grows, I think she would be good with him. Time will tell.
Saturday Lonnie went with me out to work at my moms. No way was I going to get Brad with his back issues to go out there and to heavy lifting, besides we ended up with no one really to keep the kids for us. I was glad Lonnie had offered his muscles and time for the chore. We did need him.
The time spent with my siblings was funner than the job we had to do, but there really is no room for complaining here, the task was done with much motivation from Lonnie who was full of good spirit as were the rest of us. True story, it was bitter sweet, this is the home I grew up in, from 6 months old till the day I moved out at the age of 19. It was home, and tough it is much "different" from what I grew up in, it is still home, there are so many memories there. Playing in the back yard and the woods behind our home that held a pond we would skate on in the winter and catch snakes and frogs in the summer, to chasing lightening bugs at dusk in the common ground area. The hill in our front yard that was awesome to ride your bike down. The basement we roller skated in and hid behind the wall to see my brother and his friends hanging out on the weekends, the laundry shoot that we use to think we could squeeze in to, HA. No we never did. Sharing a room with my sister, to having my own, I think I had 3 different bedrooms in that house, The day my step dad nailed my screen in so I could hang out the window and smoke or for whistling down to Greg when he got home from work ( my buddy down the street.) How freakin HOT the 2 nd floor would get in the summer and the front door standing wide open while dad sat on the porch with his cigarettes when the summer storms passed through. On and on I can hold these memories but time to let go of this house. Time for mom to move on as well.
Saturday evening after a quick clean up we thought we were headed out again to find we would be in for the night and it was much needed. As we were all a bit pooped out. I had hung my hammock swing in the garage door way and it was nice sitting in it late last night talking to a girlfriend and watching the lightening in the sky. How relaxing, maybe a bit like my dad huh!
Today I listened to a few Christian songs, a little praising to God since shame on me I skipped church, Lonnie and I were not too motivated to dress and go. I had my massage at 2 and then hit the grocery store and well here I am, Brad is working out, Devin is napping, Brenden playing computer games I am sure and I am thinking about hitting that hammock again with my blankie.....
Hope the weekend was good to everyone and the week is even better.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

here I am, wanting Devin to take a nap so I can have about 15 mintues of time to myself, then I need a nap as well, I am tired from staying up too late on facebook. Well and the phone, nothing like being on the phone and facebook with a friend, LMAO
This whole blog thing seems to once again be taking second fiddle to whatever else is going on in my life at the time. I have a book I want to have time to read. Friends I want to spend time with, more jobs I want to do.........
This weekend I get to go to my mother's house to load up a storage pod with my sibling of items she will be keeping, we hope we get the pod?!?!?!?!? I was suppose to see my one of my besties this Saturday but those plans abruptly changed, ever wonder if a friend is upset with you for no good reason, well in my mind if the friend is upset it is for no good reason, disappointment yes, but mad no. I have no clue just have this sinking feeling in the pit of my tummy and trying to work through it. For all I know they are none of the above said mention and this energy was wasted.
I am trying to take some evenings off this week, including last night but excluding Easter I have worked the past 8 days straight, though they are not 8 hours days at my paid job they are still full days of work outside of my household duties and well I think I need a couple of evenings off, even though it means I will not be bringing money in to the home, all of you that know me know this drives me insane. I am breathing though and trust God will see us through economic hard times. ALL OF US!!!!
well I think I want to get Devin down for a nap and get a move on towards my own nap.
Peace and Love, Hope and Patience

Monday, April 06, 2009

Random thoughts

Let some life changing begin, a new soul rise, a life renew itself. Growing in to your adult self can be good and not scary. Letting old habits go can be refreshing not threatening. Not understanding why and knowing how is important. Circles keep you going, just not in a direction that takes you anywhere. Learning how to truly love is a gift. Being patient is longer than the word unless I live in the word. Being what others have come to expect of me feeds me but not my soul. Changing is just as scary to me as it is to others, appreciate what others do to better their lives, it will be a great inspiration. We can all use beautiful inspiration. Letting go of past hurt, pain and habits is hard because we have been familiarized to it, like a family member, a new you is judged and stared at, sometimes even laughed at. Know you can still keep a personality even when changing habits, you can keep your personality when you change your habits, you can keep your personality when you change your habits, but personal habits change. How do I ...................thoughts............................! Meditation does not mean to take a nap. Desires are natural, your reaction to them is what makes the difference. Growing in yourself is hard, taking others along is a challenge.

Dont blame your momma for everything!

my Life

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