Happy New Year

to all of you, I hope the new year was rung in with hope and joy, peace and love.
I rung it in while sleeping.
I have been battling a cold for some time now and it just got worse, yesterday was spent in bed trying to rest to get on top of it, which ended up making me feel worse, go figure right!
Today big daddy is back to work andI am back to chasing Mr Devin who as you all know does not stop. He is downstairs now getting in to who knows what.
I thought I would go to the Dr today, but the hawking has changed colors and well maybe I could finally be on the back side of this mess.
Life has been crazy, well since my ------------ is in it again and we are dealing the best we can, we hope for the best but realize in the end we may end up saying we did the best we knew how to help.
so Be grateful for those in your lives that are well sound mind and heart, Cherish the moments you spend with your family and friends and know that a new year brings new hope, new dreams, and new beginnings, it is never to late to start a new and brighter path for yourself, or hold the hand of someone starting one for themselves.
Much love and peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because of you

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Ginger Bread house

a random photo of us from our neighbor gathering, and then the boys decorating their first ginger bread house, not bad for first timers. We will get more creative next year, a week later and it is still standing so I think we did well.
Enjoy!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have sooooooooooo much to vent girlfriends, I dont know where to start, i will just say a few things and then maybe vent later, there is just too much to say right now and I may get too mean in what I say so it is just best to keep it simple, whatever that means. I have been talking about this which is sooooooooooooooo wrong and I should stop but its as if I cant NOT help myself and I think if I say it one more time it could get better, yea right! Who the fuck am I kidding.

besides the feeling of being totally overwhelmed these last few weeks I have taken on one HUGE situation, not alone mind you but all the same I dont think I need it by any means but I sure would hope that someone would help me if I were in , No I would not allow this to happen to me, its not who I am but still I would pray that someone would come to sort me out if I was in a bad way.

I have someone in my life that has created debt, dirt, and addiction to swallow them whole.

I have been working along with others to help them dig out, organize, trash, donate, sort, and box their life, their home, their things.

I am not perfect, we ALL know this. I will be the first to build a soap box to stand on and shout my faults and how I hope to some day over come them all. I am on one now that I am not shouting about, its more of a whisper since the person I am helping is taking over.

but I feel I have been worse due to the added issues.

The person though has to get help, find help, want help and accept help. Thus far they are letting Brad and I take over their financial situation and once we started digging, HOLY CRAPOLA. They have a gambling addiction that is worse than I had ever wanted to believe it to be, this is beyond me since I hate to be without money, I hate to freely spend. Now trust me if I won money I would be buying things but I would also be hording it just as easily.

I buy something and many times will return the item if I feel it is not truly needed.

This person and their ways are so different from mine and how can that be when in my youth they were so influential in many of the things I try to change about myself today. Maybe it is that I have overcome some of who they are and am still working on the mental part that they placed or that I have learned from them.

None of this is my PROBLEM, I know this. I did not do this to them, no one did. They have done it to themselves but they need to grow up and get their head out of their freakin ass and OMG!!!!!!

So we are moving them out of their house before they lose it, clean up the crap, donate the worthy, pack and store the important, fast move what is immediately needed and someone how not burn the rest................................................
well my computer shut down and I lost the rest of what I wrote, maybe I was saying and going on too long, so I will take the hint and let it rest and move on, try to see what I can do for myself and then what I can for others to make my spot in life a happy place to be, I am grateful and blessed in my home and that my friends, "MY HOME" is alllllll that matters.

Why God has different answers

why doesn't God say the same thing to everyone? Why isn't everybody getting the same message?" Answer is simple as this "Everybody isn't asking the same question. Everybody is not at the same point of understanding. Everybody is not even wanting the same thing." We are all about eternalness which means we are about difference. It is in our difference that desires of all kinds come forth, and as all of these new desires pop up, every one of them, even in their difference, is important