to Homeschool or not to Homeschool that is the question

well you got me allllllll stirred up miss Roberta, dear love of mine.
I am in huge debates over homeschooling. I have been considering it for some time now and it is once again knocking on my freaking door.
So I am peeking through the peep whole.
I had some good talks today and one with a client who home schooled and she did encourage as Robbie has that Brenden could really benefit from it, He has requested this change so it would be no sad day for him.
I have many things that are for it and a few against it, that is thoughts not people. I am sure I would have enough people to down my idea like a sinking boat. I want lifesavers, those that can see why I want to do this for my son. I had one conversation with someone that has listened to me over the years talk about Brenden and his struggles and as i was saying what I wanted to do she was talking more about negative aspects of school and making me feel more reasons to do what I think I should do and yet questioning what Brenden was going to get out of it.
He needs to learn self motivation and drive, ambition, confidence, to focus. The suggestion was if I take him from the environment than I remove his ability to learn to deal with that environment which interrupts him. My suggestion was that his brother could be his new distraction to over come.
He has social skills. He will have to learn self motivation since it will be up to him to do the work.
He will have more freedom to express his work in his way. He can be creative on his terms, is it not the point to learn it and not how you learned it. If he fails at a subject in school and they move on does that not leave him behind? If he fails at home than don't we have the freedom to stop and do it over and find a way to make sense out of a confusing subject until he does understand it? Is that not what learning is. It was stated today that school is to teach you how to take tests. I have to agree it is not what did you learn and how did you learn it but here it is and in one week we will take a test to see what you memorized and if you didn't than too bad for you huh? I want him to learn a chapter study it even go do all the work his way to prepare to teach it to me and then we can move forward. Also a thought, I pull him from an environment where he struggles to focus and is not askign questions or speaking up whe he doesnt get it, why is that, I dont know. Will he state it at home who knows, Well i will since it is one on one. Does this teach him that every employeer will bow down to his needs, No but it does mean that he will find a job that is best suited for him and that probably means a job that he wont dispise to go to everyday, it may even be a job he creates for himself, one that he can customize to his way of doing things and is it not more important to teach our kids to enjoy and love themselves and the productive lives they live?
Do we let our kids just drown, flounder in school, push them through so they can get in to life and realize that it is all about get what you get and run past what you don't and hope no one will notice or is it about taking the time to stop and not only smell the roses but pay attention to the color and breed they are, well I guess if you care it is!
I have so many thoughts in my brain I don't know what to do. I want to see my child learn to walk about with a feeling of achievement and not failure or average.
I stated straight A's will be the must for this to stay in place, but that is totally going to happen since I will not accept anything less, if less is turned in it will be redone, A means you get it, B means you missed a few details, C you heard half of what was being presented, D you didn't feel it and F well you were not even there for it.
Do the work, and you get an A. I love when my child does an assignment and is graded on how he cuts the paper or glues something together. Whatever. School has stopped caring about the kids and care more about appearances. I am waiting on God, if he thinks I need to keep assisting Brenden where he is, then obviously that is what I will do. If I am to support him in Home school than that is what I will do, I am a mother, it is my job I will figure it all out and I will be strong for him. My life may be put on hold, but this is for my child. i wish once someone would have given me one of the talks, hugs, motivation, support, confidence, wish, hope, dream that I give to my child. I am not perfect, but I am willing to do what it takes to see this child succeed to his fullest potential.
So much more to say but I think for now I will let it rest, may be I will put pros and cons here later for weighing.

Halloween

This is how we started Halloween week, Devin killed my cat!

Brad and our neighbor friends at the start of the kids court party!!

cousin Gavin

Neighbors have web fun!

Brenden laughing with a friend (Brandon) playing the spiderweb game Playing an eyeball toss game

He's so barkin cute!

walking with Auntie Jen (neighbor) to get a Carmel apple

Mummy and puppy dog Devin

I lost my dog, Butt I did find him in the end!

Serving Dracula's favorite, Blood punch, with a few ice cubes that had a tasty fly in the middle

Some pumpkin carving before we started our kid court party(this is obviously out of order)

annual decorations , the haunted house

decorated front yard, we have the smoke machine and scary music too! Next year Brenden wants to do a haunted garage, I told him he can use all my yard props and we can make a few more things I am sure! All the kids are looking forward to a longer kid court Halloween party next year since it will be on Saturday!

Christmas shopping

so I believe I am done with Devin . Brenden, we have been working on his list.
This year will be free of video games, I stand on my soap box to state
"they make my kid a duhdiduh" not a nice thing to say I know, but he gets spacey, sometimes mad, even sad, or just aggravated when he plays those games and well since being off them, he has detoxed nicely.
So I told him think of things you enjoy doing, he likes to and is good at drawing. I have him requesting some sketch/drawing kits and easels. He also loves imagination play with action figures. I pointed out a large castle that could replace his robin hood forest he has had forever, just this plastic play thing that could truly be upgraded.
Brenden can make imagination out of anything really, would be neat if he could build and glue something easily, such as a castle.
So I want him to tap in to his creative inner person and build on who God is creating not what the game systems are smothering.
Devin would still rather get in to all my stuff than play witha toy, he now has his portable DVD player. He also loves the lap top, cooking, vacuming, driving his four wheeler, and the wiggles!
I want to get Brad a GPS, he has been talking about it for some time, but I need a coupon for Toys R Us, they have them there on sale and with a coupon I could afford it, so I am on the hunt for that.
For me a new skillet, 10in would be nice, I have a 12 inch that we love, but its a bit big and a bit worn out so its time to get a new one and lay the pampered chef to rest.
Devin and I are going to the bank and Walmart, they have a great v8 smoothy there that Devin LOVES, I admit its good, a banana coconut pineapple, yummy.
Then we are off to see our friend Leah and her mommy, they painted the house recently so we are off to have a look at it.
Halloween is tomorrow are you all as excited as I?! I was hoping to take kids to boo at the zoo in the afternoon, we shall see how it all works out!
we are outty for now!

oh PMS and the aging body

ok,
I have a zit
a crink in my neck
my sciatic nerve was bad this week
that lead to the back ache I had the other day
I am tired
hungry
pmsing
I need to get my tits mashed in one of those machines for a baseline
I took my new xanax I think it did nothing
I am trying to breath
trying to smile
trying to find some time for me to do the million things I hope to do
trying to keep up with Devin and his potty chair
a friend called with a sign from God, she says to pray about it, but I think she was my sign already
so I will wait it out to see what else God thinks
I wish I had more time to do the things I am passionate about
this week with doing hair has been good and bad one busy night and Devin was perfect
one busy night and Devin was a terror with no help from Brenden, but why should he its not his problem, I yelled at him anyway
Brad called home and I told him not now, well he was then not thrilled, it was just a call to say he was on his way, but at that moment I just wanted to say "good for you"
I just did 3 clients on top of one another with color cut and eyebrow arching with Devin in the middle of it, trying to focus on what I was doing, in my small room, that had another friend in it and a husband waiting out in the family room.... JOY JOY JOY
today I finally picked up an ice maker we bought over a month ago
I finally got a nap in, that was much needed
I am trying to quit smoking, even though I hardly smoke, I should not smoke at all, so one is bad. today I had one, someone should slap my hand.
I wanted to work on Halloween stuff, but it will have to wait
tonight my ghost shows are on, and I am pumped about that.
Halloween night I am torn, there is a live ghost hunters on for like 7 hours andI have a court Halloween gathering starting at the same time, oh what to do, I will have to tape it or get a tv outside!
so my potatoes are boiling and I still have to cook my Salisbury steak patties so I should run for now. Lets hope and pray PMS passes fast, and God protects the family that has to live with me, LOL

Trunk or Treat

Devin on his first real trick or treat outing, one where he did it on his own even stating "twick o tweat" precious, took about 2 cars then he was on a role, but still handing candy back, you give me one I will go to the next car and give it to them, then he was like ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I get from each car ok, then the trick or treat verse came in to play, by the end he was eating candy and getting goodies and moving along with no problem at all.
This is his cousin Hailey whom joined him for the fun.
Brad and I took the two of them out while my brother and his wife did their church duties preparing for the dinner that was to follow.
Brenden and Jake went out together and Tyler well that little alien had his own set of dudes he went with, they are all so big and do their own thing so not many photos of them.
I did photo what I could the kids move so fast so they are more snap shots than anything spectacular.
It was such a great and safe time!