Loss

Last year my phone rang and it was a call that my cousin Eric was in the hospital actually he was being sent to a hospital in Nashville, His kidneys were shutting down, It didnt look good for him. I was debating on making the trip to Nashville to see him, other family members were on their way, Uncle David and Lil David I knew for sure where headed to see Eric, just in case, I hated to hear those words, but he is our cousin our family and those that could get there were headed to show him their love in person, the rest of us stayed, we prayed, we hoped, we begged God to give him a nother try at life a life that he had chosen to take a tough bumpy road in a life he had so much talent and gifts in. Eric was a rebellious soul against himself....seems us Andrews know how to do that. With in days we heard he was improving but it would be a long road, at this time I dont recall how much time had passed but it was mearly months when the phone call came in again, A family relay phone to phone another member, this time as I thought it was going to be about Eric instead it was that Lil David had passed, His heart. .....I was crushed, David had some heart issues that he was living with, he had a pacemaker and was living his life to the fullest as he did best, and now at such a young age he was gone. Eric was still in recovery, I spoke with him for a bit one day on the phone and he was hoping to make the trip up for David funeral, they were close cousins, living together for a period of time even. Eric left the nursing care program to make the long haul to say goodbye to his loved cousin. Its been a long year, missing a family member but going on about life with its ups, its downs and its all around messes, blessings....just living and learning, trying our best to learn the lessons we are to learn while we are here, My own health stillin recovery and new life taking shape. The weekend came and Saturday hit with a blast of cold, a bike ride to the St Patricks parade, friends, good times...I checked my phone to see a message...Eric is in a coma, not doing well, airflight to Nashville....OMG NO.......Eric was gone from his body and machines took over where his soul had left. The family that was close to him had to make a hard decision to let his body go and allow Eric to rest in peace, to go to the heavens to be with our cousin Lil Dave, our amazing unconditional loving Grandpa and Grandma Andrews as well as the others in our families that have gone before us. Oh the party that is going on up there in Gods house....Good luck God, they come with twinkles in their eyes, love in their hearts and mischief in the seat of their pants. But they knew what is above us all, what is more powerful than us, I pray they made it, that they are all there waiting for me when I get to go back home, I cant wait to see them all again, to hug and love the way us Andrews do, and adoration for family no matter what the distance or time has taken from each of us. I miss you cousins of mine and I cant wait to see you again, Peace Love Joy

Eric

Lil David

2013....since this could be the only post I write here this year, LOL

Its yet again been some time since I have posted anything I use to be made fun of for posting my life, but it was truly a way to share the love of life, my life I use to have, the marriage I loved, my beautiful children, then it was all taken away from me in one HUGE swoop it seemed, Life can change in a heart beat, mine well the blame lay on me and thats ok, Ill take it, Im strong enough I have proven that to myself over the last 3 years, I cant obviously take A LOT......I wish one day others will be strong enough to take their own faults back and give my shoulders a rest. We make mistakes we let them spiral out of control, relationships that have one or two things missing one day can have many things missing, the longer you go about your days and let those missing things build, they become like pipes with calcium build up on them, and a plumber standing there making matters worse. I fought I worked harder I carried heavy loads until I couldnt do it any longer, sadly what I chose to help me ended up destroying my presonality and ability to care about carrying anything any longer. You let others take over and control you and you run in circles forgetting who you are and what your purpose had ever been. I can leave a list of people that contributed to that tornado but why bother, no one cares anymore, Sad thing is, I do, tremendously. My life is forever changed, many are hurting thanks to my part, not just their own part and I cant fix it for them, I can hardly fix it for myself. I have life on track with GOD first and for most, that was a must. I am in HIS will now and that is an amazing feeling. I know when I feel best and in the right place, now if they other parts of life would just find their way in to healing, this life could actually be incredibly amazing.....so Chapter 2, Part 2, Take 2.....whatever it is, I got on my mark I was ready and Im gone........the past is written here, feel free to read it all, I loved it, I cherished it and I lost it, within the blink of an eye. Sadness followed, now blessings fill the spaces that were battered and bruised.
So whats next, well thats up to God, I listen as He guides. No one can take the place of  certain someones in my past and present, they are there forever. I shall forever cherish my times, my memories and the gifts I have been given in this journey...WOW what a journey, I wish many could understand my thoughts and feelings, to live in my shoes for one moment in time. There are some who think they know me, my thoughts, my walk, my hurts, my motives, but kids.....You have NOOOOOOOOO idea what goes on in this head of mine or what I have walked through in My life with MY kids, my past or present is taken, Get your own and make it amazing, thats what Im doing as best as I can. Love peace joy, let no other steal it from you EVER.