a new life

so many things have been going on in my life and its just truly amazing how life can twist and turn and when you think you know where you are headed you wake up and wipe the sleep from your eyes and realize that its moving in a direction that is benefiting others and you have forgotten what it is that you wanted in the first place. I recall so many times I have wanted things through out the years, dreams hopes wishes and after many years I was free to follow those wishes. Well once I was able to rid myself of the things that were clouding my journey and what was my intended path. Reality is that our path is full of clouds and rain as well as sunshine and rainbows, what is important is that we fully walk the path that is set before us and understand what it is we are going through and learn from the walk we take. As I set one foot in front of the other and began walking I met so many new people and some I thought I were there for a reason but I would not complete my journey with them by my side, but that I need to keep walking and learning and growing to be the person God intends me to be.My journey is long and some days exhausting but I find strength in all that I go through and keep my faith even on the days I think I am going to be stuck face down in the ditch there is always something that pulls me up and out of the dark and I breath deeply and begin again and reflect on what it is that I experienced and why.I recently made important changes in my life that have brought me closer to my dreams and have been so greatly blessed. I have fresh breath, new light blessing my life daily.There is nothing greater than finding a true love to share my life with and am so grateful to God for this life I am living, many wonderful things to come.my boys are growing like weeds and so incredibly special to me. Brenden is 15 and Devin is 5 and God has such great plans for them.

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its amazing how time has just come and gone so fast, the summer has left us and fall has been amazing. I am sitting here now dealing with my change of weather health that hits me every year at this time. I have taken photos of the boys for their birthdays and then never had them developed. I have take tons of photos actually and they all sit on a disc waiting for me to get to them some day. I have been just enjoying taking some time for me. Not to forget my boys or friends, though my family says I am not myself. What is myself is me taking time for me right now and I am OK with it. Amazing when you stop being the one that keeps up, does all, tries to be everything for everyone else how the heads become side cocked with a look of wonder on the faces of those that were so spoiled by you. You step back and take a moment to do for yourself and all of a sudden the comments start rolling in. I didn't know I put a comment box out there for anyone to deposit opinions in. But they have and I am dealing with it all. I appreciate the concern but know its a matter of not being able to please the masses.

This summer was full of best friends, kids, good times. Going to the creek, four wheeling, taking day trips and having girls nights out. Brad and I did made a purchase just for us and we are reconnecting as a couple. That is so much over due. He still works too many hours, I am juggling many plates and thinking at times I am getting a good balance going, even if others don't think so, again its just amazing when you dont feed all your attention to someone how their criticism comes out. You can do whatever you want as long as its with or for them. That's fine, when my energy is ready I will do what I can for who and when I can. For now, Devin is in preschool, Brenden in middle school I am working 3 part times jobs on top of being mom, house choir queen, wife, friend amongst other titles. I deleted what was not meant to be in this part, but maybe for once I think I am in love with myself, that I have to suck up while I can. Those boys of mine, just look at them, they are amazing gifts from God, they drive me crazy most days, but they are mine, a gift and I cherish that gift and everyday I get with them.

I cant please anyone usually so *()$%^ it! like how that tirent should have been about peace and it was full of anger for a place I was in, very sad, Im editing this now since things are so different and I have grown sooooooooooooo much, I am just shaking my head as my life was changing others could not deal with what was going on , but its ok, its all ok... go with how you are lead in life, no regrets just make it the best you can and find your authentic self and someone that compliments that as you do the same for them.... Formost, Love your children love your life and remember to dance in the rain

OMG

how long has it been since I have posted anything, I go through these phases often, I have time or simply have nothing to say or share. Maybe a bit more of I dont want to say or share anything. If you are by my side than you know what is going on in my life and well not enough read this to be worried about posting all the boring details of this busy >womens life. I love my friends, I love my family and I am grateful to have this life and outside of that there is nothing more to say really. so now I have posted, an update none the less that I am still here, breathing, work, kids, errands, friends, family, life........... The summer has us on four wheelers, playing in the creek at Quivr River park, hanging out with friends, moving family, swimming, sunning, you know all that good stuff. Both kids will start school soon, Devin in 3 year old preschool, Sweet Jesus I see a break a head of me, 2 days a week, 3 hours a pop.. what will I do with myself. Brenden will be in the 8 grade, that just means highschool next year. SO this is it, today we are headed to drop of items to the recycled kids sale, wait for the cable guy here and at mom's, that will be interesting and actually no work this evening. Waiting for Scentsy to take off again, economy is being tough on it right now but thats ok, my house smells amazing. Well need to be moving on, Hope all of you out there are doing beautiful and are blessed each and everyday.........MUAH!!!!!!!!

Well the weekend is not yet done, but it feels over, Sunday early evening, rainy outside and i have had my monthly massage, I am one happy girl.
I had a great weekend with my hubby and friends, Friday night we went to a softball game for our friend Lonnie then here with he and his date Stacy to get ready to head out to trainwreck. Brenden and friend Brandon stayed here with Devin, Once we got him to go to bed.
We had so much fun going out, afterwards we ended up at Dennys (okay seriously that place is just nasty to me, but the food was good and it was on the clean side to my complete surprise) We were home by 2:30, even though not once did I feel it was that late. How wonderful to get out with Brad and have a little fun. (fast thought) Lonnie's new friend Stacy that was out with us, She is so sweet and so dang cute, I am hopeful that their relationship grows, I think she would be good with him. Time will tell.
Saturday Lonnie went with me out to work at my moms. No way was I going to get Brad with his back issues to go out there and to heavy lifting, besides we ended up with no one really to keep the kids for us. I was glad Lonnie had offered his muscles and time for the chore. We did need him.
The time spent with my siblings was funner than the job we had to do, but there really is no room for complaining here, the task was done with much motivation from Lonnie who was full of good spirit as were the rest of us. True story, it was bitter sweet, this is the home I grew up in, from 6 months old till the day I moved out at the age of 19. It was home, and tough it is much "different" from what I grew up in, it is still home, there are so many memories there. Playing in the back yard and the woods behind our home that held a pond we would skate on in the winter and catch snakes and frogs in the summer, to chasing lightening bugs at dusk in the common ground area. The hill in our front yard that was awesome to ride your bike down. The basement we roller skated in and hid behind the wall to see my brother and his friends hanging out on the weekends, the laundry shoot that we use to think we could squeeze in to, HA. No we never did. Sharing a room with my sister, to having my own, I think I had 3 different bedrooms in that house, The day my step dad nailed my screen in so I could hang out the window and smoke or for whistling down to Greg when he got home from work ( my buddy down the street.) How freakin HOT the 2 nd floor would get in the summer and the front door standing wide open while dad sat on the porch with his cigarettes when the summer storms passed through. On and on I can hold these memories but time to let go of this house. Time for mom to move on as well.
Saturday evening after a quick clean up we thought we were headed out again to find we would be in for the night and it was much needed. As we were all a bit pooped out. I had hung my hammock swing in the garage door way and it was nice sitting in it late last night talking to a girlfriend and watching the lightening in the sky. How relaxing, maybe a bit like my dad huh!
Today I listened to a few Christian songs, a little praising to God since shame on me I skipped church, Lonnie and I were not too motivated to dress and go. I had my massage at 2 and then hit the grocery store and well here I am, Brad is working out, Devin is napping, Brenden playing computer games I am sure and I am thinking about hitting that hammock again with my blankie.....
Hope the weekend was good to everyone and the week is even better.

here I am, wanting Devin to take a nap so I can have about 15 mintues of time to myself, then I need a nap as well, I am tired from staying up too late on facebook. Well and the phone, nothing like being on the phone and facebook with a friend, LMAO
This whole blog thing seems to once again be taking second fiddle to whatever else is going on in my life at the time. I have a book I want to have time to read. Friends I want to spend time with, more jobs I want to do.........
This weekend I get to go to my mother's house to load up a storage pod with my sibling of items she will be keeping, we hope we get the pod?!?!?!?!? I was suppose to see my one of my besties this Saturday but those plans abruptly changed, ever wonder if a friend is upset with you for no good reason, well in my mind if the friend is upset it is for no good reason, disappointment yes, but mad no. I have no clue just have this sinking feeling in the pit of my tummy and trying to work through it. For all I know they are none of the above said mention and this energy was wasted.
I am trying to take some evenings off this week, including last night but excluding Easter I have worked the past 8 days straight, though they are not 8 hours days at my paid job they are still full days of work outside of my household duties and well I think I need a couple of evenings off, even though it means I will not be bringing money in to the home, all of you that know me know this drives me insane. I am breathing though and trust God will see us through economic hard times. ALL OF US!!!!
well I think I want to get Devin down for a nap and get a move on towards my own nap.
Peace and Love, Hope and Patience