I think I am going through puberty Mom

I am sitting here trying to catch up on social internet things, blog, myspace, photo posts, and Brenden announces "Mom, I think I am going through puberty" "why do you say this son", "I am getting hair EVERYWHERE", you can imagine where he says that is, GREAT
so I told him that many feelings will come with no warning, as if attached to each hair that pops through. "Congrates on your ball hair Brenden" this makes him laugh of course!, he just came in to have me see his armpit peach fuzz.
so a secret to share
We have this miracel trick for moods, magnesium
it is a wonderful drug for those of you with mood swinging kids, or for yourself.
so this is something I will not take a photo of to share, well maybe a armpit hair for my own scrap book.

Hi Momma from Robbie

Your page looks so pretty! You are so creative! and I love that Somewhere Over the Rainbow song! I want to sip pina coladas on a beach when I hear it! Okay, I'm going...I was just visiting your page, you can delete me if you want : )

Oh yes, I love your ABOUT ME and your quote at the bottom of the page! You Rock Girlfriend!

Assume

to make an Ass out of u and me
why do we assume things, I know as an adult I will make assumptions so I will not ride my child for his assumptions as if he is some dumb ass, but I will teach him all about assuming things. My mother, if she taught me nothing at all, she did tell me once, dont assume, it makes an ass out of you and me. So that is one thing I did retain and I have taught it to Brenden and one day will break it down for Devin as well.
SO Brenden who woke lazy, he's a kid in the free zone of summer, laid in bed, then ventured to my bed then back to his room I cleaned most of the morning, my wood floors have been sooooo neglected. Then I finally got out to do the grocery shopping that has been waiting since Sunday. Brenden calls to ask if he could go to a friends, fine, he was suppose to fold towels I remembered to late. I arrived home to my garage open, towels still in their basket, Of course this momma will bring it to light immediatly I dont wait for anyone to get home before I chew them out.
I let him know of his mistakes and he will complete them later. When he does come home he has friend in tow, they are going to use both my computers to play an on line game, that is fine right mom, okay fine again, HOURS later they emerge since friend has to go home, but they have a plan, Friend is going to stay the night, well my rules are, this is a toddler house, we are quiet after 9 and we are not to stay up past 12, or I am going to be chewing butts again,this is an ongoing thing when anyone stays, But they say they get it, So now Brenden says his friend will be back in an hour he will be eating dinner, well guess what that was a great assumption, because he is not, I didnt plan for a friend dinner, so after you empty my dishwasher, return my computer and now fold 2 loads of towels, and eat dinner your friend can return.
This is settled, for today I assume?

May you have peace

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us

Birthday boys

I took the boys out today to take their Birthday photos, I so love photography, but most of the time I am in such a hurry when I take them, so this day was a hurried day since we had about an hour to shoot and we went to 2 places, the boys were not much in the mood for it, but we got some that will be good, so we atleast dont have to go out again. Today was busy, but good, we did a firestation tour, will post photos of that, we got our water slide, I am sure photos will be coming of this soon, we shopped had lunch and even got a nap in during the storm. I am preparing to go to work now, so I better get off of here.......

I shall believe song #2

listen to these words, This could so be a song to God. I love it

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe

EVERY DAY, Rascal Flatts

this song I just wanted to say is my fast dedication for Brenden and Devin, their life with me has been to save me at times, if you sift through it all, find the meanings to life, this is part of what they do for me, they changed me, stopped me in my tracks, I had to redo it all, evaluate where I was headed, get it right again, and now Brenden has done it again with his matching health to mine, these kids save me, and drive me, wether its uphill or down, they are what do it for me, this life is for them and they save mine.
I have so much to say about what is going on with Brenden but dont have all the words yet to talk about it just yet.

OMG

I am in the middle of yelling at Devin, that child, OMG
I swear that no one listens to me around here, they just yell my name and then ignore what I say, Devin could say mom a million times a day, he just wants me to do what he wants or to figure out what he wants, . He gets into my frig and freezer a million times, getting out everything from frozen tater tots to crown, hey I would like a shot of that actually.
so this has been a realllllllllllly hard week and I am skating thin so I have not been around much and don't have much to say. I just breath, sometimes that is hard to do I feel, so I know I am a blessed person and I am grateful, but I prefer to praise when I am feeling better, so this is just a stop in to say, I have momma pains, from 2 year olds testing me to a 12 year old that I am aching for in his new, yet we had a feeling was coming, health news, not enough read this for me to go into detail, he has my same heart condition and I am, we are, adjusting to this news, not much will change, but a few things have to, he is okay with this, a brave young man.
But it has been alot to take in, and Devin well is rare form this week, on top of sick kids since Sunday, if we are not sick we are high maintenance, so I am mentally worn down thin. If I could just run away, But I am not that brave, mean, desperate; Whatever the word is for someone that bails on a tough situation, its not me, I will complain than just get back in the saddle and hold on tight, whipping kids every once in while.

Brenden skateboarding

just felt Brenden needed to have some of his skateboarding pictures on here. Devin tries to keep up, they are both so fun, I love to photograph them at play!!!!

What's wrong with this picture

Are you kidding me, this child never stops, He makes us laugh so much, look close at the photos

he is trying to ride a toy skateboard, doing tricks and all, He even laughs at himself, silly boys...

THE WEEKEND!

So this weekend, I am in such a funk around this house and my family and its so much I don't feel like typing about it just yet, but to put it in short I am feeling depressed, my hubby always at work and me so much with the kids. Brenden I want to see him doing more, with dad, with friends, with activities. I feel it is all up to me to see him doing something with himself. Does Brad not know to look out for these kids since his dad was absent most of the time? I don't know but I work hard to full up this childhood thing. I took Brenden the other day to spend a gift card at Bass Pro he got A YEAR AGO. He decided on a fishing pool since he has been wanting to go fishing. Far be it for me to think that maybe he would say something to his dad and Brad say well lets go do that, we have a lake in our subdivision. Well anyway I ended up telling him lets put this poll together, and I took him fishing, he only lasted in the heat 30 minutes while I sat in a chair with an umbrella, shielding myself from the death rays the sun was giving off. Then I told Brenden I would take him to see a movie of his choice, that left Brad with Devin. Brenden was so happy, he was pumped, cheery, all smiles, I felt I did a good mom thing for him.
Brad I know wants to do more with his kids, but there is so much work all around him. Some of it I try to get him to let it go, but he cant. I don't think he knows how, and that scares me. I give him my list I am up his toosh for things I want done, but I do ask him not to worry about it, Just to play pool yesterday he had to vacuum the top of the cover off, it was messy, but then he started to vacuum the table to, it was like just play a game already. But Brad does nothing half way. I DO! I am ADD, he is details. Brenden is me, Devin is Brad. So the weekend was good, and not so good, we fought off and on. Our carpenters came and did all trim and doors. I let Brenden drive my suv in a school parking lot, wanted him to see what it felt like. Brad said you will just teach him to take your car out, I say I just taught him to drive if he decided to do something stupid like take my car out. Brad is rules I am how do we get along with the rules and bend them a bit. We both ended up not feeling well last night (overnight) I was middle of the night, Brad was today, Was it the food or was it the stress, maybe both. We will get through this as we get through everything else, one day at a time, one drink at a time, one sigh at a time.
I have enough to work on with me, if I keep working there then everything else can slide in to place. Through all my bad thoughts this weekend I would run through them and then try to find the better light in it, how can I make it better, why do I feel this way and how do I change that bad feeling. Brad has so much going on, I wish there were more of him to go around, I wish there was more of me to go around, for now we will deal with what is left and hope for a refueling soon, on that note I need church and singing, it always helps.

Golf lessons, FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!

Brenden started golf lessons today, as he was eating breakfast I thought he will be the one in jeans and some skull shirt with his hat on side ways. So I went to check him out and he suprised me he had on plaid shorts, so he was going to fit in well. He loves golf and has played a few times with Brad for company games. He has gone to the driving range and loves putt putt. No serious lessons before though. When I picked him up he was smiling and said it was a good day, he was taught the proper way to hold the club. He even found these little frogs, the one he had in his hand was so small it could fit on a dime, so freakin cute.
We left there and went to the walmart to get golf balls, how do you go to golf lessons without balls, oh just ask us since we did it.
While there he starts telling me how he needs a putter, I was like great one more thing to the list of money flying out the door, oh well, I guess its worth seeing the smile on that little boys face right!

I'm a big boy trapped in a little body

This morning I dropped Brenden off at his first day of golf camp, so exciting, he loves golf, came home with Mr Devin and we prepared Roast for dinner in the crock pot and started vacuuming floors and I got on the computer (of course) and he disappeared (of course) returning a few moments later, I see I forgot to shut the bathroom door with its child proof handle. He had his daddys hair stuff in his hair, well it almost made it in, it was so cute, so I helped the little man out and we gave him a cool do, Devin loves to imitated Brad, so Devin shaves, puts on deoderant, acts as he is peeing at the toilet and puts hair stuff on. What a little character he is. And to think some days he drives me to pulling my hair or his.

it doesnt seem like it was all that long ago

There's a black-top road, a faded yellow center line , It can take you back to the place, but it can't take you back in time

You can dream about it every now and then, but you cant go home again, these are just our memories from an easier time, well then it was , and now that I know what I know.

Seems to change everything

I love to go back over old photos of my childhood with my siblings, we had some fun, underneath all this tough skin I have grown, there is a little girl with wet pink tails from running in a sprinkler, or from a homemade slip and slide, riding big wheels and excited to see the snow cone lady coming with her squirts of colored sugar water on top of some shaved ice, the ice cream man with the push ups, my sister loved the foot with the bubble gum toe.

I was picking songs to add to my little ol blog and thought of some good ones, then got to thinking why not write about why I picked these little buggers.

Flies on the butter is by Wynonna Judd, my sister was big into the Judds, one year she said you have to listen to this song, it reminds me of us and our childhood. The lyrics sparking memories of the times we got to lick delicious treats from the spoon, The heat of a summer day, and being at the lake house with my uncles big dog plopped in front of the big fan. Us kids running , jumping the railroads ties that were used as steps to get to the lake, how we didn't break our necks while doing so. Watermelon eating on the back porch and ice cream making when evening came at the lake was the best. The adults would then play cards for coins and us kids would play for pretzels. HA we did have some great times at the lake.

These days were so long ago, yet seem like yesterday. Good memories are what I hope to remember now and let go of the pains that made me a tough chick in my teenage/young adulthood years. I catch myself watching my kids and looking at their photos, I love photos, thinking and hoping for them to have wonderful memories and times to talk about and them not all include, "Remember the other time when mom lost her mind and pulled her hair out!"

We can take the road back to our home,but we can't go back in time, just enjoy the memories, you can relive them over and over, but really, truly who would go back and do it ALL again. I will stick with the good stuff, licking the spoon, swimming in the Ozarks, chasing lightening bugs, and running in the rain puddles that would flow like rivers down our street, ice skating on the pond behind our house, walking to the mall, dad chopping his ice cubes, that's another story for another time, HA.

sprinkler fun

Time to start acting like summer fools, and freeze in sprinkler water. Devin is ready this year to run and play like the big kids do. I bought him this cute ring today thinking maybe it would be enough to cool us non pool having people down. STL and its humid weather, we all need some freezing water to survive it. The first day of school break, Brenden is off to his friends to sweat and skateboard. Devin and I set up shop on the side of the hill and as the tube filled and the streams started to shoot up this little boy was on a new adventure, learning to run in and out of the water, adjusting to it being okay to have that water squirt him in the face and the squeals of laughter soon began. It was great to see him having fun, screaming from joy and not from being mad I said No to something. This was a good start to summer.

I have to get ready for work now, enjoy the photos of our sprinkler fun.

We can be everything we see ourselves to be

All the resources you will ever want or need are at your fingertips. All you have to do is identify what you want to do with it, and then practice the feeling-place of what it will feel like when that happens. There is nothing you cannot be or do or have. You are blessed Beings; you have come forth into this physical environment to create. There is nothing holding you back, other than your own contradictory thought. And your emotion tells you you're doing that. Life is supposed to be fun—it is supposed to feel good! You are powerful Creators and right on schedule. Savor more; fix less. Laugh more; cry less. Anticipate positively more; anticipate negatively less. Nothing is more important than that you feel good. Just practice that and watch what happens. There is great love here for you. We are complete

This is a daily thought I got and I get them, duh daily, from this site that I signed up to, from some cd's my mother in law had be listen to, they were interesting and thought provoking for sure, and I do believe in what it is trying to get us all to do, this was a thought I felt worth sharing. It is right on with what I hope to do, what we all strive to do, think it, see it, get to it, with peace and know we deserve it, to be happy, fruitful, hopeful, successful, loved........... blah blah blah, we deserve, see it and be it.