Tiger Cub Momma

well here we go kids.....Devin has signed up to be a Tiger Cub and me being momma Tiger, well that gives me the chance to lead a den of boys on a wonderful adventure. Have NO clue what I am doing since I am a girl scout, not a boy scout. Once I read the first part of the guide book and looked at what Boy Scouts is all about, it hit me "I have been leading Devin on this path since day 1". The honesty of it is that Devin has already earned most of the patches due to how I raise boys. That was such an awesome feeling to me. Now I just have to show 8 other boys what I have already been showing Devin. My guess is that since their parents care enough to bring them to such a wonderful organization that maybe they have already been taking these steps with their sons as well. Im so excited to learn more and being this new chapter in my life with boys.

Forgive and let go of Resentment

so its amazing how I can begin to do things in life and go through the ups and downs and figure out the lesson or analyze it by ripping through it to figure out the lesson of it all to walk in to church and hear a sermon on EXACTLY WHAT I JUST WENT THROUGH LAST MONTH or 3 months ago, whatever...its like reading a horoscope that applied to what happened "already" .... So I'm grateful for the things that God teaches me  and then the test He gives me at the end of the lesson to be sure I got it right....The lesson is this
You have situations in life where it can be you who is at fault, or you may be the one that is on the receiving end of someone else's fault, and sometimes others wont accept their part in a shared train wreck and so you take all the blame which is something I tend to do cause I don't mind it I'm ready to work through my problem and yours, I will let others of the hook and move on with the guilt and pain and heart break and as in the beginning of this I explained the lesson learned factor, I rather learn and not repeat than deny and make the same dang mistakes again and again wasting my life and energy...so you take all those "sins" and you don't ignore them, you fess up to them, sometimes you cant go back to those you have hurt or have hurt you BUT many times you can, and you ask for forgiveness or you give the person freedom from the pain they have done unto you. Holding on to resentment and anger only brings gray hairs faster ( I notice my husband at the age of almost 50 has maybe 3 greys in his goatee) and makes your life miserable. Those that accept or reciprocate in your efforts truly share your life for Christ and for doing what is right, they receive such a gift that money cant buy and that's "peace". It's "For Christ's Sake" that we forgive and are forgiven, this is how we represent Christ for we forgive then we are as Christ in His forgiven us of our debts towards others (And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors) My hardest part is when you are mocked for doing as God says and came to the conclusion that "its not my problem" I am on this earth as a test and my actions to the tests presented to me will be judged and graded by my Father, those that laugh at my lesson and outcomes will be judged by their laughter...Maybe learning something in each lesson instead of mocking or judging would be for the wiser...My friends if you don't believe that their is a God, and you do not believe you will be in front of Him one day for your own judgement but you DO believe in Hell, the Hell that was formed when Gods angel fell from heaven and crashed with a burning eternal burning flame that awaits all those that chose to deny Him, well I am praying for you, YOU are my biggest purpose YOU should be the purpose of many Christians, and if you DO know and you choice to continue to mock and destroy others Christians and even worse to do this to NON Christians..I pray for you EVEN MORE... I learned here to accept, to forgive, to let go and to move forward...how many times? EVERY TIME
I thank GOD every day for that Rascal of mine, He truly holds no anger, no resentment, no hate...He deals with what others or he has done he prays on it and he leaves it in Gods hands, EVERY TIME.....I prayed for a partner like him many MANY years and God has blessed me.

Monster TeePee

So I had this wild idea to create a MONSTER Tee Pee for my youngest son Devin and with this brain I have, there was  no stopping me. Luckily I have a husband whom is always on board with "most" of my ideas. So I set off to make a pattern
Create your pattern from anything large enough to satisfy your panel size. I used large pieces of craft paper that the schools buy on large rolls.
I taped 3 large pieces together and we measured out the size to suit our needs (that would be a size to accommodate the twin size bed sheets we would be using )
Measure it, make your marks, cut it out.
Lay your material one piece at a time and cut your pattern and fabric.
Once all your panels are cut (4 to 8 panels depending on size of Tee Pee you prefer) begin sewing your panels together by placing the first two pieces face to face, so that your seem is on the backside (inside) of your Tee Pee.
Be sure to sew your last panel only half way down so you can have an opening for all your little Indians.
You then need Grommets for your top and each corner to hang and anchor your Tee Pee...
We used 1/2" grommets for ours
once in place you are ready to hang your Tee Pee, find a tree with a sturdy limb and place a hook to hang your Tee Pee from, use tent stakes to anchor your sides in the ground and let Dancing little foot party begin.
Use your imagination in fabric, I used bedsheets I had hanging out in my craft room and this was as usual a wild idea that I didn't plan on, when that happens (which is often) we use what we have
You can use weather resistant material if you intend to leave your Tee Pee up and outside.
Our Tee Pee will travel and folds easily for storage.
Get your kiddos involved with this project, parents don't have to do all the work all the time. Put down the Xbox remote and plan an activity such as this, have them help measure, cut, even do the sewing, straight lines anyone can sew, My 6 year old boy can do it, so can my 49 year old hubby.
Have fun, take photos and make a memory or two or three or four :0)
I'm sure our next part in this creation will be our Indian names, I'm thinking "momma skipping beat" as my own :0)

own up

Its amazing that you find you have to apologize to so many people for things you are going through in your own life.....I am so exhausted of making life ok for so many others. I have done this my ENTIRE life it seems.....If someone is angry or fighting I stop and turn my thoughts, hopes and energy towards them to make their lives and situations more peaceful, I did this as a child....HOW, WHY...would I do this. Because it is who God made in me. I am a peacemaker, even if I am the fight I remove my anger fast, I can fall apart, blow up, break out and then I am sorry I want to make peace I want to make it all up, I want to hug it out, walk it out, fix it all and erase all the hurt that was created. I want a time machine and a back button to life and situations in it. Not that I always want to change the direction,  I do realize in life we go through situations by choices that God gives to us, its our free will...but I would change the words I used, I would remove some of the pain and try to make things more peaceful....WISHFUL THINKING...........
I cant make up any more, I cant apologize any more, I cant fix it, I cant take it away, I cant go back, I cant do a single thing but pray for those that are hurting in this life, I will not be the escape goat for the pain others feel. We are all adults and we have to answer for the choices we make, the chances we take and blaming others, even if they brought us to a fork, is no longer acceptable. So you came to a fork in the journey and you now have a choice as well, not a forced decision, you have a choice to make as well and either you accept your part in the decision making over a situation or you let it go....go in peace...Just go, in peace, with hope that the next part of your life is going to be more amazing, filled with more blessings... or you choose to fix the damaged road you are on. If you let a life go that you loved so much then I think you are a fool to be honest. If you loved it so much how did you lose that life, that situation. How did you not hold on to it, how did you let or allow someone else to take control and snatch it from you? Were you not looking, did you not notice or did you not care?....See Im trying to understand all of this on my own since no one will give me answers yet use my name as the reason their lives are so awful...and trust me I know Im used, talked about, obsessed about, if I wasnt than there would never be an argument, there would never be a conversation, there would never be an ill word...But there are, there is, there has been and probably will continue to be. If no one cares, then why am I stalked? why do others care about what I do, where I go, what I write, what I share or what I feel? If you didnt care then you would say who cares and ignore it, let it go and have peace. I have peace in my life, but I am a hawk with my sons. I have been told when I speak of my sons the passion in my words and attitude is so extreme. I have tried to calm it, lolololol...yeah, my mother instinct wont let me rest, I know when something is wrong, when something is going on and that keeps me and my momma bear attitude on guard. I am a peacemaker, and extremely analytical. I have such a passion and need to understand and help those around me. I have been told I care too much that I am way to nice, that I give way to much...God created me to be this way and I am just breathing through each step I take in life, I am  being my authentic self...there are days I hurt and Im fatigued but I refuse to give up, I refuse to give in, I refuse to turn my back on things that I believe in, and for one I believe in myself and then the tree limbs spread from there......so I ask "what is it I can do for you today, how can I help...." I pray for all those that suffer from this need to blame others, this need to deny their wrongs, their mistakes, their sin....

Leaky Roof

so much rain this week it has begun to find its way in to our home, our beautiful 92 year old home is being invaded from above and below. We had hard blowing rain a week ago and a leak began in our office, quick grab a towel, dripping is landing quietly now. This still left a bummer feeling in our thoughts. Today more rain came and kept coming and soon we noticed where we took part of our ceiling out for a project there now is a drip drip drip...so slight but still a drip is a drip and it has invaded our home. Then to the basement to check laundry and water is creeping its way across the floor, two areas are beginning to have a race to see who can find the drain pump first.
I began to have this thought as I deal with other areas of my life, not just what is happening to my home with this water seeping in, but I...Being the deep thinking Christian I am began to think about the parallel worlds of physical and spiritiual.....I thought about the stresses and strains of daily life and situations that are on a roll and out of our control. They seep in to different areas of our lives and we can grab a paper towel, a cloth towel, a mop or even a bucket for the big drips. But still they are there so what to do about it. Well trace it along the pipeline, how far back does it go, where does it start, what other factors are invovled, can you cover it up, patch it up, replace a part or do you need to call in for professinal help or is the drip just due to the changing weather outside and once it passes the drip will dry up and all will be well again, yet the thought of that similar situation arising again and the issue returns. Sadly life situations will repeat unless they are dealt with and if done so properly and promptly they can find a way to patch, heal and never leak again. But if you are there with a leak that you find comes from two areas, both need to be fixed. You fix your end but the other part has done nothing to fix their end, well then the leak, the drip will continue to plop and splatter on all that surrounds it.
So what do you do? I am waiting on that answer as I deal with my drips and streams in life, that are reaccuring, I fix my end and the other end still drips and leaks and then uses a squigy to shovel the water towards my dry areas making me start all over again as I mop up the messes they create. I pray on this time and again awaiting for the answer in what to do, how can I help when I feel that even the thought of me brings a down pour of water. Its a helpless feeling, even harder when you are aware that some are suffering as they wade in the water around this continuous drip....
I pray that if you find your self in a trouble spot of life, and surrounded by water, don't flail around like you cant swim, put your feet down stand up and try walking to drier land, get some floaties, ask for a lifeguard to help you out, then go take swimming lessons or patch up your leaks. If Evil is seeping in around you, fight back, don't let it flood your life and drown you where you stand. Pray God guides you, shows favor on your life and bring you peace to all the storms you must weather.

Loss

Last year my phone rang and it was a call that my cousin Eric was in the hospital actually he was being sent to a hospital in Nashville, His kidneys were shutting down, It didnt look good for him. I was debating on making the trip to Nashville to see him, other family members were on their way, Uncle David and Lil David I knew for sure where headed to see Eric, just in case, I hated to hear those words, but he is our cousin our family and those that could get there were headed to show him their love in person, the rest of us stayed, we prayed, we hoped, we begged God to give him a nother try at life a life that he had chosen to take a tough bumpy road in a life he had so much talent and gifts in. Eric was a rebellious soul against himself....seems us Andrews know how to do that. With in days we heard he was improving but it would be a long road, at this time I dont recall how much time had passed but it was mearly months when the phone call came in again, A family relay phone to phone another member, this time as I thought it was going to be about Eric instead it was that Lil David had passed, His heart. .....I was crushed, David had some heart issues that he was living with, he had a pacemaker and was living his life to the fullest as he did best, and now at such a young age he was gone. Eric was still in recovery, I spoke with him for a bit one day on the phone and he was hoping to make the trip up for David funeral, they were close cousins, living together for a period of time even. Eric left the nursing care program to make the long haul to say goodbye to his loved cousin. Its been a long year, missing a family member but going on about life with its ups, its downs and its all around messes, blessings....just living and learning, trying our best to learn the lessons we are to learn while we are here, My own health stillin recovery and new life taking shape. The weekend came and Saturday hit with a blast of cold, a bike ride to the St Patricks parade, friends, good times...I checked my phone to see a message...Eric is in a coma, not doing well, airflight to Nashville....OMG NO.......Eric was gone from his body and machines took over where his soul had left. The family that was close to him had to make a hard decision to let his body go and allow Eric to rest in peace, to go to the heavens to be with our cousin Lil Dave, our amazing unconditional loving Grandpa and Grandma Andrews as well as the others in our families that have gone before us. Oh the party that is going on up there in Gods house....Good luck God, they come with twinkles in their eyes, love in their hearts and mischief in the seat of their pants. But they knew what is above us all, what is more powerful than us, I pray they made it, that they are all there waiting for me when I get to go back home, I cant wait to see them all again, to hug and love the way us Andrews do, and adoration for family no matter what the distance or time has taken from each of us. I miss you cousins of mine and I cant wait to see you again, Peace Love Joy

Eric

Lil David

2013....since this could be the only post I write here this year, LOL

Its yet again been some time since I have posted anything I use to be made fun of for posting my life, but it was truly a way to share the love of life, my life I use to have, the marriage I loved, my beautiful children, then it was all taken away from me in one HUGE swoop it seemed, Life can change in a heart beat, mine well the blame lay on me and thats ok, Ill take it, Im strong enough I have proven that to myself over the last 3 years, I cant obviously take A LOT......I wish one day others will be strong enough to take their own faults back and give my shoulders a rest. We make mistakes we let them spiral out of control, relationships that have one or two things missing one day can have many things missing, the longer you go about your days and let those missing things build, they become like pipes with calcium build up on them, and a plumber standing there making matters worse. I fought I worked harder I carried heavy loads until I couldnt do it any longer, sadly what I chose to help me ended up destroying my presonality and ability to care about carrying anything any longer. You let others take over and control you and you run in circles forgetting who you are and what your purpose had ever been. I can leave a list of people that contributed to that tornado but why bother, no one cares anymore, Sad thing is, I do, tremendously. My life is forever changed, many are hurting thanks to my part, not just their own part and I cant fix it for them, I can hardly fix it for myself. I have life on track with GOD first and for most, that was a must. I am in HIS will now and that is an amazing feeling. I know when I feel best and in the right place, now if they other parts of life would just find their way in to healing, this life could actually be incredibly amazing.....so Chapter 2, Part 2, Take 2.....whatever it is, I got on my mark I was ready and Im gone........the past is written here, feel free to read it all, I loved it, I cherished it and I lost it, within the blink of an eye. Sadness followed, now blessings fill the spaces that were battered and bruised.
So whats next, well thats up to God, I listen as He guides. No one can take the place of  certain someones in my past and present, they are there forever. I shall forever cherish my times, my memories and the gifts I have been given in this journey...WOW what a journey, I wish many could understand my thoughts and feelings, to live in my shoes for one moment in time. There are some who think they know me, my thoughts, my walk, my hurts, my motives, but kids.....You have NOOOOOOOOO idea what goes on in this head of mine or what I have walked through in My life with MY kids, my past or present is taken, Get your own and make it amazing, thats what Im doing as best as I can. Love peace joy, let no other steal it from you EVER.