I dont wanna grow up , I'm a toys r us kid

Well Robbie you and I will talk on this for hours I am sure. But here is my thing as I say to Brad, HOW do you stop drinking? (willpower and determination)
I mean I have before and I don't have a problem with not drinking. I then would make less of a fool of myself and maybe have a better chance at health. Two weeks ago I said no more drinking.(I have drank 3 times since, can you say LOSER!)
I can still be fun! The alcohol just exaggerates my silliness. Yea I know that is what it does for most. It exaggerates how much of a jerk, crab, funny, sad a person is. I think for me, I just get more extroverted, louder. I show off more, which is annoying to me. These days I don't need more in my life. I had a full weekend of drinking activities for which I am not proud of. It is a bit of a hypocritical thing of me to drink, when I tell my son how much we need to take care of ourselves and be aware of our bodies and how they speak to us and I just go ignoring my own damn good advice once again. Why I rebel so much is just lost on me at times.
Brad and I got to go out last night to see a friend of his from the past, well it was a reunion and Brad just really wanted to go to see him. I think he had fun seeing some others too. I had my friend and her husband meet up so I could let Brad do his own thing and not feel strange with me sitting there watching him. That would suck. Besides I pick on Brad a bit and I hate that and didnt want to do any of that with his peeps.
Night ended early, but later than we planned and we headed to our house with two friends of his and played pool, the ride home I was not pleased with myself for drinking at all. Knowing I was not drunk but had been sitting in a bar, ordering up drinks. Atleast this go around I got water and food too. So at home I didnt drink and was fine, just tired and boy am I the fun one when I am tired. LOL YAWN!!!!
Well we played pool and had snacks and it was the environment that I like to be in, at home where I am not spending money, relaxed, we can talk, hear, goof with one another. So I DUNNO! I told Brad I need to follow through with all theses ideas and wants I have for myself and my life and stop being such a fool. Its time to grow up and get a clue. My thoughts are to be an inspiration to someone else, to live life to the fullest with in reason. To know I can be just as fun without drinking, and bars are so overrated, but going out to eat with friends and having fun is a must.
I need to plan more of those, how nice to get out and how easy to have Brenden watch Devin for a couple of hours so we can do the dinner thing. We spent all this time building our basement and it should be used for entertaining rather than going out to the bar and having $4 beers. That is just ridiculous.
SOOOOO my thoughts are to plan a once a month dinner outing with a friend, or couples or just the guys, just the ladies. We all need to get out and socialize. Have some fun without it getting anyone in to trouble. We are all older and need to remember that. Keep our shit in line. As I am out there being a fool thinking, Man I am older than most of those cute things that have a right to be out drunk and acting like fools. Its in their age to do that, I am already done that. I want to be a grown up now. DID I REALLY JUST SAY THAT!!!!!!