to Homeschool or not to Homeschool that is the question

well you got me allllllll stirred up miss Roberta, dear love of mine.
I am in huge debates over homeschooling. I have been considering it for some time now and it is once again knocking on my freaking door.
So I am peeking through the peep whole.
I had some good talks today and one with a client who home schooled and she did encourage as Robbie has that Brenden could really benefit from it, He has requested this change so it would be no sad day for him.
I have many things that are for it and a few against it, that is thoughts not people. I am sure I would have enough people to down my idea like a sinking boat. I want lifesavers, those that can see why I want to do this for my son. I had one conversation with someone that has listened to me over the years talk about Brenden and his struggles and as i was saying what I wanted to do she was talking more about negative aspects of school and making me feel more reasons to do what I think I should do and yet questioning what Brenden was going to get out of it.
He needs to learn self motivation and drive, ambition, confidence, to focus. The suggestion was if I take him from the environment than I remove his ability to learn to deal with that environment which interrupts him. My suggestion was that his brother could be his new distraction to over come.
He has social skills. He will have to learn self motivation since it will be up to him to do the work.
He will have more freedom to express his work in his way. He can be creative on his terms, is it not the point to learn it and not how you learned it. If he fails at a subject in school and they move on does that not leave him behind? If he fails at home than don't we have the freedom to stop and do it over and find a way to make sense out of a confusing subject until he does understand it? Is that not what learning is. It was stated today that school is to teach you how to take tests. I have to agree it is not what did you learn and how did you learn it but here it is and in one week we will take a test to see what you memorized and if you didn't than too bad for you huh? I want him to learn a chapter study it even go do all the work his way to prepare to teach it to me and then we can move forward. Also a thought, I pull him from an environment where he struggles to focus and is not askign questions or speaking up whe he doesnt get it, why is that, I dont know. Will he state it at home who knows, Well i will since it is one on one. Does this teach him that every employeer will bow down to his needs, No but it does mean that he will find a job that is best suited for him and that probably means a job that he wont dispise to go to everyday, it may even be a job he creates for himself, one that he can customize to his way of doing things and is it not more important to teach our kids to enjoy and love themselves and the productive lives they live?
Do we let our kids just drown, flounder in school, push them through so they can get in to life and realize that it is all about get what you get and run past what you don't and hope no one will notice or is it about taking the time to stop and not only smell the roses but pay attention to the color and breed they are, well I guess if you care it is!
I have so many thoughts in my brain I don't know what to do. I want to see my child learn to walk about with a feeling of achievement and not failure or average.
I stated straight A's will be the must for this to stay in place, but that is totally going to happen since I will not accept anything less, if less is turned in it will be redone, A means you get it, B means you missed a few details, C you heard half of what was being presented, D you didn't feel it and F well you were not even there for it.
Do the work, and you get an A. I love when my child does an assignment and is graded on how he cuts the paper or glues something together. Whatever. School has stopped caring about the kids and care more about appearances. I am waiting on God, if he thinks I need to keep assisting Brenden where he is, then obviously that is what I will do. If I am to support him in Home school than that is what I will do, I am a mother, it is my job I will figure it all out and I will be strong for him. My life may be put on hold, but this is for my child. i wish once someone would have given me one of the talks, hugs, motivation, support, confidence, wish, hope, dream that I give to my child. I am not perfect, but I am willing to do what it takes to see this child succeed to his fullest potential.
So much more to say but I think for now I will let it rest, may be I will put pros and cons here later for weighing.