Got a momma who I swears a saint

this is a line from a song by Montgomery Gentry, I love the line or any line that talks of a mom that is wonderful and spiritual and loving.
I always think if my children grow to be men of many words I dont want those words to come out in therapy and start with "because my mom....." followed by something mean.
I want to be a mom that is in those songs and poems, I want my grown men to remember the good times they had,have with me and the good things I did for them. Not the times I yelled at them, smacked their hands , butts or mouths. Time I tried to chase them across a room to retrieve an item,though they are usually laughing at me when this takes place, that is until I catch them.
I hate the rearing part, I just want to enjoy my kids, have them do as they are told, hug them as long as they will allow it. Brenden allows it longer than I usually have it to give.
Devin is too busy But he likes to lay his head on me from time to time during the day and say awwwwwwwwwwww, or Hi Momma!
I know the day will come, for Brenden it may be around the corner that he will not have time for me but all the time for his friends.
I wish I could be more receiving of peace and patience (maybe God is teaching me to recieve it) I am not kidding when I say somedays I feel there is nothing in these hugging arms my kids should want, but they know nothing else and they crawl in to them, and I pray I am passing love to them and not hurt.
So I work on it all the time, letting go of the pains of my past, healing myself and coming to a peaceful place.
Learning to mom in a way I want to be remembered for, I wish I could have a do over with Brenden, I am so much better now, but I have a long hill to climb.
I am a Lucky Mom and Wife