I need to learn to breath

I lost my temper today and I feel like a piece of shit!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, what is my problem, why am I this mom. I dont want to be this way, I dont want my kids raised this way. I can make every excuse, but none of them matter to be honest. There is no excuse.
Situation, Devin woke from his afternoon nap, he had a snack, then he wanted outside since Brenden was headed out, we had one hour before I had to get ready to work. OK we can go get in the sprinkler,( So Brenden is having issues with his new scooter, that has me a bit , well pissed, it wont hold a charge and customer service sends you to their home page to file a ticket, that is that you leave a posting of what is wrong and they get back to you wtihin 24 hours, fingers crossed here.
so Brenden was going out to try and ride after it was on the charger all night and day, it wont run, GREAT!!!! so we head out with him to see if I can figure out what the deal is, while out there they get ice cream from the freezer, Brenden turns on the sprinkler since its so dang hot out, we get Devin in a swim diaper he is dripping sticky popsicle in the garage, that will be bug heaven later so we try to keep rinsing it out, the ground is hot on his feet so he is running around but not interested in the water,soon he is at the front door worried about letting dogs out, then dogs in,(this is his thing to do) while I am in a chair starting to sweat, well screw this,He doesnt want to do the sprinkler, why am I sitting here, lets go in I have to work soon anyway and we need to eat, he follows me in the garage and wants more ice cream I say no and start to shut garage, WELL< he starts wailing and screaming and running after me, well I was like thats enough, I ripped him into the house, pushed him out of the laundry room and he kept screaming at me and my temper was getting hotter, I spanked him and carried him one arm one leg to his bed and left just talking outloud abotu how I am tired and I am done and IIIIIIIIIIII,
I SUCK
I HAVE A HORRIBLE TEMPER, NO PATIENCE, I SHOULD NOT HIT, I SHOULD LEARN TO BREATH, I KNOW IT, as it is happening I am trying to say to myself "calm down, stop being such a child yourself he is 2", I use to do this wtih Brenden, why am I this person,I am so embarrased to even write it, but this is something so big for me that I have to figure out, its like I am some freakin bully. I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to hug, love, support, take time, be patient, share all that I feel I missed with my kids,and this is what I am sharing with them
My sister says our mom slapped us, I dont remember this, she wasnt the nicest person. But this is about my kids, are they going to act as I do when they have kids, I sure hope not, I tell Brenden, please be more patient than I, please be calmer than me, I have no excuse for the way I am acting, it is not acceptable and I am sorry, Devin doesnt get it, he just wants me again, that makes me feel even worse, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I am goign to ponder some thoughts, go to bed, pray to God to walk me through this mom thing. He gave me two kids for a reason, I better make the best of it and figure this out........