obsessed

I am on a mission. I am getting back into my camera groooooove.
Yea I know like I don't have enough going on with kids, school, hair clients, dogs, house, Brad. I am going to go on and add one more thing to my list, why not. I love, okay I am obsessed with photography and photos, mine, others, all of it.
I love to capture the moment, to save it in time, and revisit those moments. How a story ,pages long or two words, can go with one little photo, or it could take a collage of them.
I have stopped developing all of my photos since I take way to many to afford prints, I can blow up the ones that I cant live without and the others are organized on disc, I am resorting to month discs now, I was just burning what would go on a disc and thought "Someday I may not know when that was" so I am month and year disc queen now. UN OH I hope those fit, since yesterday I downloaded 162 photos, that was two days worth. A not perfect photo, I cant seem to delete, they are my kids and it was a look they gave, or a smirk they had. I know when they are adults or they have kids of their own , I am aware I may never find the photo, but I will b saying "that was the same look you had at that age, it was on that one disc that I refused to erase the blurred photo because I could see your look and I loved it." see obsessed!
I have been outside, inside adjusting all my buttons and turn dials to refresh what I didn't really understand before and am these days totally getting. Amazing how that happens, one point I was so confused about photography, I was totally TAKING the photo, I was good at the creative part of it, I just did it, that is how I roll with most things, but I didn't understand HOW I was getting that photo to look that way, or why did it not look the way it should. Now I am like, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok, I gets it !
so NOW I need to get out there and shoot the moon. Work out the kinks and continue to educate myself on the math side of photography, who knew right.
Story for ya
My genius brother, who is a physicist in Radiology, DONT ASK, (longer story my sister and I say our brothers got the smarts and we got the creative jeans-the other brother is an RN) was over one day while I was photography manually a storm, well he was standing there and all of a sudden says " Do you know how you are capturing the lightening" I said "of course because i am on this bulb setting and I am keeping the shutter open and I put this card in front and I remove it when I feel like the lightning is going to streak across the sky" Not the answer he was looking for, he proceeded to tell me how film works and is made. I could yawn now thinking about it. But he truly understood what I was missing, he had the technical side of the aperture world that I was lost in, but his photos were not as pleasing as mine. So together we could be one hell of a photographer!
Recently
I had many requests for photography sessions this fall, that prompted me to set aside time to schedule them. This weekend I am shooting more than those that originally requested. So I am doing it cheap, I mean I am still practicing it all, but I can make a little money to put away and eventually be able to purchase my wish list. That list is growing daily, but I need it all. I have already, cameras, lenses, filters, tripods, light meter and some fabric throws. some regular spot lights, but no filters on them. I need backdrops and reflectors , I reallllly want a monopod, that is a stick to attach the camera to the end of, instead of my HEAVY tripods I use now, those are so much for me to haul around a park, or the house when all I need is a steady hand to help out.
I need software updates, the ones I have, I have had forever so they do the job but it takes a lot of work on my part to get in there and move it around like I am sure the better programs do with one touch.
I have such an energy high from being creative, and I needed this right now. I admit totally that I need to balance it all, yesterday Devin did not nap, that meant I didn't get to get my computer time so I was a grumpy old bear, my poor kids when that happens.
I am learning, researching, getting the itch back. Its good for me to have something for me, something that I know someday I will move forward with, maybe someday is sooner than I think.